Reflecting...

As we get closer to the end of the year, I am sure that I am not alone in looking back at what the year was like.  This year has been no exception.  I have had some amazing highs and some devastating lows, but with each one I learned something new.  Not just about the situation, but about my self and how I am evolving.  This year I started writing in this blog, pretty much every day.  Let me tell you, it is a challenge.  I try to make it something that you can hopefully come, learn, share and even take something away from.  I know that in the beginning I had no idea what I was doing.  Then somewhere along the way I learned how to change the page settings, then how to put in pictures, manipulate the fonts and so on & so forth.  It in some ways has made me break out of my shell.  To challenge what I have been told and to over come my fears.  I had made a goal for myself this year to try to find the positive in things.  This is also not an easy task to adhere to.  It is far easier to let my little Marine come out.   I found that many times people are just reacting to your attitude as sometimes we are to theirs.  Case in point.  You wake up in the morning and smile at a stranger, 9 times out of 10 they will reciprocate with a smile, nod or a pleasantry.  You try this scenario again.  This time be a nasty grump.  Most likely what you send out will come right back to you.  Sometimes thru no fault of your own, people are just going to be how ever they are, regardless of your award winning smile or positive attitude.  Then that is on them.  This year I have had to learn a painful lesson.  Sometimes you need to walk away from a friendship.  I have always  been the one in the past that has hung in there thru thick & thin.  Usually, being the one that people end up leaving for one reason or another.  This year, for my own well being and my families, I had to make a difficult decision & stick to it.  Many times I have wanted to pick up the phone, but I don't.  I have to think of my children.  When you are younger you don't mind ( as much ) your life being drama filled.  It almost seems like a rite of passage.  As you get older, it becomes not only physically wearing but emotionally.  I would rather take that time, effort & energy and spend it on our children.   This year I have really come in to my own.  I have defined myself more than I think I ever have before, and it's a culmination of everything I have done to this point in my life.   So, as I prepare to greet 2012.  I do so with great excitement and anticipation.  I am looking forward to all of the adventures and challenges that await me.

XoXo