Sunday, August 28, 2011

Having to Leave...

Getting ready to leave Pennsylvania, I went around to say my ( See you later's).  If you know me, I never say the common phrase that everyone says as they part ways.  I gave my Mother and Father Kisses and Hugs, the boys did the same then we went to visit my Grandfather.  Six years later and I still cry like a child, when I go to visit my Grandfather.  I miss him now more than ever.  Tristin was a little over a year old when he passed, and he never got the chance to meet Tyler.  I run over the conversations that we used to have.  Out of the three grandchildren I was the closest to him. I would spend hours on end with him talking, as I got older, we would go to the races and would make our way to the casino just to play a few slots.  It didn't matter what we did, as long as we got to spend time together.  I still wish that I had made the last trip to Pennsylvania when I knew he wasn't feeling well.  He had just moved from Arizona back to Pennsylvania with my Grandmother.  ( Long Story Made Short ).  I called him on the phone, and he reassured me that when he was feeling better,  I could come up and see him and we would spend time together.  That was the last time that I got to talk to him.  He passed away later that night.   I went to see him today at the mausoleum, I was the only one there, but I didn't feel alone.  I put up some new pictures of the boys.  Spent some time there, then walked out, locked the door and got in the car.  The kids wanted to go see their Great Grandmother one more time before we left to come back home.  As I drove over to see her.  I thought I was ok, but when I started to tell her what we did this morning I broke into tears.  I know she misses him too, so I hate to cry in front of her.  I got a hold of my emotions and then we all gave her hugs & kisses before we headed home.  I know that my Grandfather told me at one point that he didn't want people to come and mourn at his grave, if they couldn't appreciate him while he was alive.  He was my best friend and we had so many special moments together that still play in my mind.  All these years later, I only seem to miss him more.  So many things have happened over the last six years that I wonder what he would think about it.  I know he would most likely think I was crazy for participating in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure multiple times, but I know that he would have been my biggest supporter.  No matter how much time goes by, my love for him will never tarnish, fade or disappear.  As the years go by I cherish the moments that I got to spend with him even more...  Forever in my Heart, Always in my Prayers, Constantly in my Thoughts...XoXo

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